IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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