He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize