She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize