just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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