Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
please come you make the beer taste better
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
