Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
