Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
