Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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