Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize