You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
