good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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