Someone shit on the floor
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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