I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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