I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
