don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
