I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
