i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize