I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
