I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
