Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
