im six kinds of drunk right now
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
