It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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