Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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