What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
