What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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