I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
