So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
