My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We named our party play list daddy issues
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
