he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
her vagine was all disorganized.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
