We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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