Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
