I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
