I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have feelings that need drinking.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just puked most of my soul out..
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