whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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