the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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