He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
