Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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