Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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