Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize