what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
