IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
