addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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