We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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