I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
