I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
