I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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