I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
