so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
