he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
