I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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