Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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