People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Everyone says I win the strip club
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
