Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
