That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
