we're blogging at a bar
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize