i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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