Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
