i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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