I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
