i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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