You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
