Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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