either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
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