He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
