I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
