But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
