id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
