Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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