Where is the hickey?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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