i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
